as much as i said earlier that i don't try as hard anymore, i tried today. i tried so incredibly hard today— i followed the instinctual guide on how to feel better to a tee today. i did nearly everything right, and yet. and yet. it takes one quiet moment for it to sneak up on you, perhaps. it doesn't matter how many endorphin-boosting activities you packed into one day, miasma comes through the tiniest perforations regardless.
once again, i have to remember there's no quick fix to a chemical problem, even if i'm halfway convinced it really isn't chemical at all and it never has been. i have to remember trying your best guarantees nothing at the end of the day. you will still cry, and you will still despair and the only thing you really can do is choose to give it another shot tomorrow. hope that things shall be different again.
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