last year, i went through the effort of changing the blog background to pumpkins to commemorate the spooky season.
this year i became an actual ghost on this site. i will choose to interpret that as a very fitting disappearance.
but im still alive!
just barely though, october was a rough month.
i spent a stressful week in france, i lost my uncle, i took part in an interschool competition, i wrote and got back the results of my first terminals. it was busy, to say the least.
i picked up a habit of writing a daily letter to someone very close to me. i also managed to rush through eight seasons worth of anime in a week. i got my room repainted, rearranged all my furniture and procrastinated hanging up all the pictures and decor that was up before. i spent the last two days flat in bed, not because of a physical or mental hindrance or anything, simply because i wanted to and it was becoming more and more apparent that if i didn't catch up on my sleep soon, i would end up in a very unfortunate situation.
sadly, all of this means i have been putting myself on the backburner. i got a harsh wake up call yesterday about my alleged harsh treatment of people and have since then decided to completely renovate the way i come off to people; seeing as it is halloween, my costume for this year and the rest is to be a nice person.
"costume" doesn't imply i could just drop it whenever i wanted to, all it implies is that it doesnt feel natural yet, similar to how some people feel wrong dressing up as an angel. maybe that will change eventually, only time will tell.
october ends in half an hour. im glad its over, this month was easily one of the worst in 2019. yet i cant help but feel a little regret at my complete lack of effort at trying to enjoy the first month of autumn. to be fair, i live in a country where temperatures dont drop below 30°c until november so it is hard to immerse myself into the autumn feel plastered all over the net. but i did have one pumpkin spice latte, so i did do something.
it doesnt matter now though; november shall treat me better (i am not relentlessly optimistic)
this year i became an actual ghost on this site. i will choose to interpret that as a very fitting disappearance.
but im still alive!
just barely though, october was a rough month.
i spent a stressful week in france, i lost my uncle, i took part in an interschool competition, i wrote and got back the results of my first terminals. it was busy, to say the least.
i picked up a habit of writing a daily letter to someone very close to me. i also managed to rush through eight seasons worth of anime in a week. i got my room repainted, rearranged all my furniture and procrastinated hanging up all the pictures and decor that was up before. i spent the last two days flat in bed, not because of a physical or mental hindrance or anything, simply because i wanted to and it was becoming more and more apparent that if i didn't catch up on my sleep soon, i would end up in a very unfortunate situation.
sadly, all of this means i have been putting myself on the backburner. i got a harsh wake up call yesterday about my alleged harsh treatment of people and have since then decided to completely renovate the way i come off to people; seeing as it is halloween, my costume for this year and the rest is to be a nice person.
"costume" doesn't imply i could just drop it whenever i wanted to, all it implies is that it doesnt feel natural yet, similar to how some people feel wrong dressing up as an angel. maybe that will change eventually, only time will tell.
october ends in half an hour. im glad its over, this month was easily one of the worst in 2019. yet i cant help but feel a little regret at my complete lack of effort at trying to enjoy the first month of autumn. to be fair, i live in a country where temperatures dont drop below 30°c until november so it is hard to immerse myself into the autumn feel plastered all over the net. but i did have one pumpkin spice latte, so i did do something.
it doesnt matter now though; november shall treat me better (i am not relentlessly optimistic)
