"all truth passes through three stages. first, it is ridiculed. second, it is violently opposed. third, it is being accepted as being self-evident"
-arthur schopenhauer
the truth to everyone else is that i have done well. perhaps they're in the third stage and i'm stuck in a limbo between the first and second stage. the fact remains that i cannot change anyone's mind and they cannot change mine.
when yourself and your brain seem to work as two separate entities, it gets hard to live the bloomer lifestyle in a doomer-oriented world. but i'm gonna try anyway. when i found out my exam results are coming out tomorrow, i felt my heart sink.
two months ago or so, i wrote a post where i mentioned making it through if i do end up with less than satisfactory results. looking back at that time now, i should've known i'd have a whole panicfest for three days straight. i've been living with myself for nearly sixteen years. it's stupid how my parents know me better than i know myself.
but coming back to my point. i am not what my brain tells me. my brain likes being incessantly pessimistic no matter what the occasion. so what if it's a celebration. my brain thinks i didn't need one in the first place. therefore, i am not what my brain tells me.
when there's a disconnect between your brain and your consciousness, competing with yourself becomes redundant. i cannot beat my personal best if my personal best isn't even satisfactory enough for my brain. all those little neural impulses and conducts have convinced me i'm going to let myself down tomorrow. but my consciousness still pipes up saying, "hey! your past can prove you wrong! you're not wholly terrible"
but i know this, the vaguely humanistic perspective i've acquired because of the two most optimistic yet practical people i know is telling me i will be fine. someone else told me i'm going to be pleasantly surprised when i open my results tomorrow. i'm fighting against my own gut, but that's okay.
who needs an enemy when you've got a brain like mine?
-arthur schopenhauer
the truth to everyone else is that i have done well. perhaps they're in the third stage and i'm stuck in a limbo between the first and second stage. the fact remains that i cannot change anyone's mind and they cannot change mine.
when yourself and your brain seem to work as two separate entities, it gets hard to live the bloomer lifestyle in a doomer-oriented world. but i'm gonna try anyway. when i found out my exam results are coming out tomorrow, i felt my heart sink.
two months ago or so, i wrote a post where i mentioned making it through if i do end up with less than satisfactory results. looking back at that time now, i should've known i'd have a whole panicfest for three days straight. i've been living with myself for nearly sixteen years. it's stupid how my parents know me better than i know myself.
but coming back to my point. i am not what my brain tells me. my brain likes being incessantly pessimistic no matter what the occasion. so what if it's a celebration. my brain thinks i didn't need one in the first place. therefore, i am not what my brain tells me.
when there's a disconnect between your brain and your consciousness, competing with yourself becomes redundant. i cannot beat my personal best if my personal best isn't even satisfactory enough for my brain. all those little neural impulses and conducts have convinced me i'm going to let myself down tomorrow. but my consciousness still pipes up saying, "hey! your past can prove you wrong! you're not wholly terrible"
but i know this, the vaguely humanistic perspective i've acquired because of the two most optimistic yet practical people i know is telling me i will be fine. someone else told me i'm going to be pleasantly surprised when i open my results tomorrow. i'm fighting against my own gut, but that's okay.
who needs an enemy when you've got a brain like mine?
